love. pursue. expect.

 Expect… Pursue… Love… This was a talk in one of the SFC Assemblies I attended to early this year. I did find the talk interesting and empowering kaya na inspire akong gumawa ng reflection. But I wanted to separate my work to his so I decided to look for another title, however I wanted it to be uniquely the same… Kaya naisipan ko to have the title in its reversed order ha haha!

Love… Pursue… Expect…

As I was about to start, I just realized that the title is actually making sense. Idea burst from one thing to another (hope I’ll be able to catch it all he he). From a simple reflection of a talk it has grown into something… something I’ve done before, this has become the sequel of “my sad love story”.

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LOVE…

Just recently, a brother shared stories about his love life. (Well, I won’t give you the exact details about it because it’s his life haha!). I was quite bothered with what to say, who am I to give advice? Kamote din naman naging love life ko. As we were talking, I was actually praying that may God bless me with the right words to say and true enough, the conversation ended well. Later that evening, still perplexed with what happened I begin to think deep. With the help of the book “God First” by Ken Wilson, God revealed some points about love. The reflection leads me to first relationship I had (the story in my first sad love story blog). I do love her and I do believe she does love me too, the feelings were there but still our relationship ended. Why? For a time I thought it was all about trust and assurance, yes, but it is partially true… to be in a relationship, commitment has to come with it.


“To love somebody is to be committed to that person. Commitment supported by feelings and not commitment based on feelings. Without commitment, the temporary setbacks caused by fluctuating emotions will threaten the relationship. So when you love, make sure it includes emotions, but based on commitment, a commitment to give your life to someone and the decision not just to fall in love but to constantly be in love.”

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PURSUE…

I was asked by a friend what’s the real score between me and Mitch (not her real name -- a very close friend since high school). Same as the other thousands (ok, hundreds) who asked me the same question, I answered; we’re just friends. Of course it’s a lie. I wouldn’t hang-out with her for six years if I don’t feel anything special.

It was year 1997, when we met. She’s pretty (according to my standards before and some four more classmates’). I can still remember how happy I am when our seating arrangement was announced. We’re seatmates (home court advantage). The sad thing there was that, she has her bf the time we met and the moment she broke-up with him, it was me who got into a relationship (with the “trust and assurance” girl). Nevertheless, it didn’t hinder us in becoming good friends. Even more when we both went to the same college, too good that people kept on asking if we’re in a relationship (one of the reasons why we broke-up with you know who). Honestly, we were not. But since both of us isn't in a relationship that time, we became more intimate. For me she is the Lord’s answer to my prayers, or so I thought. The ecstasy didn't last that long. She got into a relationship. Hindi ako nasaktan dahil nasayangan ako sa relationship namin kasi wala naman talaga kaming commitment but I was deeply hurt because I am expecting too much that she knows how much I love her…

Allow me to borrow and revise King Leonidas general’s line, in the movie 300: “I have lived my entire life without regret until now. It’s not that she gave her life to somebody else, it’s just that I’ve never told her that I love her that much…” 

Here’s another story:

It was one early morning when I heard a familiar voice coming from the dinning hall, just outside my room. Intrigued, I immediately jumped out of bed (fixed my self a bit) then went out to find who. I knew it! It was the girl of my dreams. All of my life I’ve always been dreaming that someday I’d be waked-up by someone I love. That morning was a dream-come-true for me, a fairy tale, God’s mercy unleashed at that. We had a nice conversation not until her boyfriend came to fetch her up (can somebody please kill me?). Some say reality bites, now I believe it’s true, and damn, it bit me too hard!

I believe it was love (a love that was not meant to be that is). With all the things I’ve been through and the thing I’ve learned, I believe I was ready.

As Optimus Prime of Transformers put it; “The greatest weakness of most humans is their hesitancy to tell others how much they love them while they’re alive.” Well, in my case, while I still have the chance

When you’re in love, don’t just stare -- follow, chase, hunt, trail, pursue! Grab every chance you’ll have just to express how much you love that person. 


“When you ask God for something, He doesn’t give you what you want the exact way you want it. If you ask for courage He doesn’t give you courage but instead, He gives you the opportunity to be courageous. If you ask for strength, He doesn’t give you strength but instead, He gives you the opportunity to be strong.” Like me, I’m sure you’re praying for a prefect relationship, don't just wait for it to happen, build one now.

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EXPECT…

Honestly, di ko n asana ito matatapos kasi wala na akong ma-isip. After all those fateful events happened to me, it’s not that easy for me to expect. Not until I bumped into Joel Osteen’s book “Your Best Life Now”.

God usually meets us at our level of expectancy. In saying “I don’t think I’ll ever get into a serious relationship. I haven’t had one in five years” I am actually closing doors to whatever best God has to offer me. Should I dwell on mediocrity, I will never see things change in my favor.

Knowing what you want for your life is already half of the solution, the first half of the solution that is. Unless I will be able to set my mind into it, there’s no way I can go to the next half.

Now, I am positive that things will change for the better, not because I deserve it, but simply because God loves me that much.

God knows my hearts desires, if it is in accordance to His will (with high hopes), He will bless it, if not, I believe He has something greater in store for me.

Whoever you are, ngayun pa lang, sinasabi ko na sa iyo… I LOooVEee YOooUuu!

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So there, Love, Pursue, Expect! :D