challenges.

(Matthew 10:7-8)

Cure the sick– Do I care enough?

I’m not that too functional type of person; I wanted to care. But my action shows otherwise, I wanted people to be the first one to come to me, thus making me like one. Honestly, I’m sick and tired of it; I wanted to do things the other way around, but I find it difficult. Perhaps I’m afraid to be rejected or maybe I’m too focused on some other things that I missed the point why I’m here.

            But isn’t it being selfish you’re afraid to be rejected yet you’re doing it to others? Isn’t it rejection when somebody obviously needs you yet I choose to ignore it? Or when you missed to care just because you’re too focused on your self and/or the things that you do?

            We are here to care. “The truth is that all of us are the same and all of us want’s the same thing. We want to be swaddled, cooed at, touched, and pampered as if we were newborns in a crib. If everybody gave it, then everybody would receive it. And that’s the meaning of life.” – Louie Anderson

It took me sometime to accept this but I have to admit, I didn’t care enough. I may have a hundred and one excuses why but the fact still remains, I still have a lot of caring to do.

Raise the dead – Can people see miracles in the things I’ve done?

People somehow managed to be independent. I am one of them. My parent taught me how to be on my own; they wanted me to be responsible in every action that I’ll take more so with its consequences. Being responsible is tantamount to being in control. And being as such, I need to consider probabilities. Most of the time, I’ll base my decisions from good calculations and on how much I can handle things. The lesser the margin of error is, the better. So, 5 + 3 = well, there’s one possible answer, it has to be 8, then I’ll go for it. And I think most of us does, although we don’t like the idea, we are unconsciously doing it. Who will go for 5 + 3 = 4000?

The more I’ll put things into my control the lesser the chance God can perform His miracle. The lesser the margin of error is the lesser you need God, the lesser you’ll show Him in your works. The bigger the crack, the brighter His light shines. God honors risk taking and radical faith, now I know why. It’s His way of showing the people His hands working!

Always leave a room for God to work on to and see how He can twist all the mathematical equations we know by making 5 + 3 = 4000. Actually, He already did, remember how He fed the 4000 people?

Cleanse leapers – Do I seek out those who are neglected by the society and those who were forgotten?

What keeps me bothering is the fact that I am not giving justice to my call as a missionary. I’m not even half way there.

I was quite bothered with the fact that what we are actually evangelizing the evangelized. Communities like us are fighting over the 10% who are in fact knows the Lord and missed the 90% who didn’t, those who are almost forgotten. More than being a YFC fulltime worker, I am a missionary. I should spend time seeking these people rather than being satisfied with the number of youths attending our conferences. If not, I am missing the point why I went fulltime in this mission work.

Drive out demons – Am I bringing-out the goodness in every person?

A friend of mine once showed me a piece of coupon bond. He asked me what I see. Noticing the dot on the center, I immediately said, “There’s a black mark at the center”. “What else?” he asked once more. After looking vigilantly at the paper confidently I said “None. There’s nothing else there”.

What concerns me right now is that there are still times that I’m acting the same way. I tend to look on the defects, seeing the miniscule dot rather than the whole white bond paper.

Driving out demons is not about pulling it out forcefully but rather bringing out the goodness in every person. If I want to bring-out goodness in a person, I have to start looking from where I am not. Seeing not how people seemed to be but the goodness in them. “There’s more to people midst the eyes can see”.

***

After all these realizations, I don’t know if I’ll be able to do it all, if I’ll be able to perform the things I must, but there’s one thing I’m quite sure, I’ll die trying.