Lamentations v4

As I was about to write my reflection for today, when I overheard a roommate listening to Bo Sanchez. The topic somehow got me interested, so little bit later I found myself sitting right next to him watching the same TV program.

The topic was about health but what caught my attention was the study conducted in relation to it; how relationships affect one’s health. People who are distant to their parents are more likely to be sick when they get old. 53% chances if one is cold with their mothers, 82% with their fathers and a whopping 100% with both.

Then it hit me.

In a family where “I love you” is seldom said and being cuddly isn’t acceptable, I grew up to be a pretender, isolating my emotions. I’ve learned to hide my emotion, act as if I don’t care. There was a point in my life when I can’t remember the last time I hugged my parents, when I can’t even recall the moment I showed that I care.(Don’t get me wrong, I do love my parents and i believe they do love me too, the feeling might be unexpressed but it was mutual). The problem came in when I get to deal with other people; the simple case of parent-child issue has cascaded to me being misunderstood. Misconstrued not because they haven’t tried but I was giving them the wrong impression. I had hard time dealing with my parents more so with friends. Others gave some shot but eventually gave-up (some failed relationships, connections ended and friendships ruined). Why? Simply because I seriously didn’t (or perhaps still don’t) know how to care. Period.

In my years of full-time work, in YFC, in the community, I should say things are better now, way better than it was. But because it’s in my system, even if  I have resolved to change for the good, I still unwarily seclude myself and what I truly feel. So I continue to struggle, I continue to decide to be better each day.

So as a reminder, here is a prescription on how to have that healthy life we all aimed for:

1. Open up – share, talk and be heard >> Talk to your parents, call them now! (just called my mom, thanks to Globe hehe!) also, SMS your household head (and/or a friend) and set that much needed one to ones. Lower your defenses, be vulnerable and express what you feel. You’re a human not a robot, for crying out loud!

2. Touch more – hug and be hugged >> Be a vessel of God’s embrace of security, assurance and comfort. If you’re not with your family, why don’t you start it now by giving that longed hug to that person just right next to you? Or if that is too much to ask, tapping on the back or giving a high five, is enough, just to feel you’re both alive and that you know how to appreciate, that you are capable of loving. (I’ll do it to the first person who will pass through that door right in front of me, quite challenging for me but yeah for the spirit of fun I might just do it haha!)

3. Do volunteer works – serve without pay >>  Bring  your family with you and go to ANCOP or GK site, or donate and help flood victims or simply buy some bread for those who have nothing to eat in the streets. The possibilities are endless, just create opportunities to not just help others but bond as a family in doing so. (can’t wait for my parents to be here in manila by December, I bought them ticket for their 28^th year anniversary honeymoon hehe!)

4. Accept – decide to love >> Instead of being critical, learn to understand and appreciate. Give a thank you note, leave a voice message, send an SMS, give a gift or simply say “I love you” not just to those who are dear to you but to those who have hurt you, those you have difficulty dealing with. (will write to friends saying sorry after this… haha! napapasubo ako dito sa pinagsasabi ko.)

haha! I just spontaneously wrote a blog and wasted 10mins of your life...
What are you waiting for? Stop wasting your time, invest for a healthy life...

Do yourself a favor, turn off your computer and LIVE your life to the full, LAUGH hard with your parents/family and LOVE out-loud!

Prayer:

Lord I thank you for my parents, I thank you for the love you have shown and allowed me to experience through them. May you bless me o God so that I'll be able to really show that I love them too. Also, grant me thy grace to express how much I value not just my parents but the people around me. Teach me to be more loving and how to show compassion. Amen.  

 

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The story behind #lamentations

Lamentations v3

I am where I am right now solely because of the things that I can do. I am good and that I am needed. Because I am a missionary, I have pleased God through the things that I do. Or so I thought.

While it is true that I am where I am because of what I can do that God can use, the problem came in when I became too proud of it, when I focused on what I can do and on how I do it instead of why and to whom am I doing it for.

If perfection and holiness will be the basis, I am not qualified to be here. Yes I have resolved to pursue holiness but there are still times when I indulge myself into the pleasures the world can offer. If efficiency and excellence will be the standard to satisfy God, I have fallen short a hundred times. Yes there were moments that I gave my all but I can’t deny instances when I settled for mediocrity.

And so I am left with nothing but a broken heart and spirit, but let me offer these to you. My sacrifice, God, is a broken spirit; God, do not spurn a broken, humbled heart.

---

“Lord, turn away your face from my sins; blot out all my guilt. Do not drive me from your presence, nor take me your holy spirit. Restore my joy in your salvation; sustain in me a willing spirit. Change my heart, o God. And fill my heart with joy as I bring your salvation. Amen.”

the story behind #lamentations

Lamentations v2

“Lord, you are rejected by the elders, the chief priests and the scribes and you suffered greatly. Lord, I too have rejected you and your ways at times. I have not understood the way to life you gave me. When I transgress, I grieve you, but I also suffer the consequences. Grant me the grace to follow you and to lose my life for your sake. Amen”

the story behind #lamentations

Lamentations v1

I am reminiscing and reliving the moment when God first found me. I was bathing with mud but he picked me up anyhow, I was filled with dirt but He embraced me anyway. Without second thoughts, without hesitation He held my hand and said “you are forgiven”. It was His mercy that showed me how to really live.

I have been in the business of loving people as a fulltime worker for 7 years and I’d be hypocrite if I'll say that I have lived my life according to God’s standards all of the time. Most of my time was spent way shorter from being holy and way farther from sharing His love. But God never left me even so. I have lived my missionary life with His grace. His grace took me to greater heights; His grace allowed me to experience things I have never even thought possible; His grace brought me people who have not just become instruments of His love but objects of it.

Grace and mercy taught me how to really live and love. Apparently, I have forgotten the lesson so He is patiently teaching it once more.

My God is not tired, never was and will never get tired of loving me.

---

“Lord, forgive me for I have sinned. I have failed to live out my covenant with you faithfully. My heart is pained for offending you, but I know that your heart is grieved even more. Have mercy on me, God, in your goodness; in your abundant compassion blot out my offense. Wash away all my guilt; from my sin cleanse me. A clean heart create for me, God; renew in me a steadfast spirit. Amen.”

the story behind #lamentations

Lamentations

I have lost passion in service (ok, I might have been lazy before but I’ve never been this lazy haha!) and have been causing more pain than helping the mission. Because I’m bored, I get so easily disappointed with people I work with and been so critical with my leaders’ decisions (maybe I wasn’t just looking but I just can’t find the inspiration I need).

My parents are facing issues that I can’t do anything (because we never really talk that much) and that is just frustrating.

After recovering from a failed relationship, I am falling in love but I’m having reservations due to the complications it will bring. Because of the times I wasted in thinking, I am at the brink of losing her.

My finances can’t cope-up with my lifestyle.

And friends? Haha! Nang iiwan ako ng kaibigan, who wants to have friends with somebody like that? And dapat sa akin hindi kinakausap. I’m snob, full of pride and stubborn, why would people waste time with me? Haha! There are those however, who are exceptional and were able to chew and still are chewing the bitter side of me. (I just don’t know for how long haha!)

I stopped my prayer time and haven’t had a good conversation with God for months now.

My pretension that everything is fine, that I’m ok and that there’s nothing wrong with me, is making it even worse. I find it hard to accept this but I have to admit, my life is in a mess. Never have I felt lost and so confused in my life. I have been living alone for the past 28 years of my existence but I have never felt this lonely.

Yesterday, unprepared, I got the punch I need, a blow right straight to my face, a fatal hit. (Jep Calumag, you won this time, but itaga mo sa bato, I will get back at you with vengeance. haha!)

I have decided to pick myself up and recover from that knock-out, slowly, limping a bit but still getting up.

This is going to be a long 40-day journey of much needed lamentation. Haha! Hard, yes! But this for sure is going to be worth it.

So I begin.

---

no sleep til brooklyn.

There’s this night shift security guard who told his boss to cancel his flight early morning after his shift. When his boss asked why, he said that he dreamt about a plane exploding just right after take-off. Fearing for his life, the boss took the security guard’s advice and stayed home. True enough, the plane he was supposed to be in crashed with no survivors. After hearing the news, he called the security guard, thanked him for the advice and then fired him.

Fired?! Why?

He failed to do what is expected of him. He slept during his shift.

--

I am a natural bum. Being the only child, I have all the right to be that, at least that’s what I think. To my defense, I’ve always told people that I was raised to be that. I have lived my life ignoring the things I ought to do until I get to know Christ through YFC.

Who would have thought that a simple yes in my Youth Camp would turn my life upside down? That it was part of a grand scheme to change my life for the best – the start of my efficiency training?

The first responsibility given to me was to be a Youth Camp Servant, the one responsible for doing dishes, cleaning, and serving the participants through various chores. After this, the rest was history. This first responsibility paved way for bigger and more exciting tasks. I have experienced being a facilitator, music ministry, team leader, chapter head, cluster head, campus executive vice president, campus based head, mission volunteer, and a fulltime pastoral worker in the province as well as international missions. Now comes another part of God’s personal efficiency training for me, as He leads me to transition into a marketing supervisor of a world class company that is geared up to set the world on fire.

Needless to say, I am living my life to the full. Should have I slept when Christ came, should have I decided to miss that opportunity to serve Him, neglected my duties and gone astray with my responsibilities, I wouldn’t be where I am right now.

It has been 15 years now, 15 years of God’s grace, 15 years amazed of how God used me to do His works and transformed me to be the person He wants me to be.

Today’s gospel isn’t just a warning for us to be prudent and vigilant at all times, it is also reminder of a promise that God blesses those who are up for the challenge, those who will take their responsibilities head on.

Live. Laugh. Love.

kitsokoy250811

a reflection on Matthew 24:42-51 

posted at IN THE KING'S STEPS
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trials. (3pts a day)

Trials aren’t there to reveal one’s weaknesses; it should rather showcase God’s greatness – His majesty.

One’s trials shouldn’t slow him down; it should instead compel him to do more basking on God’s faithfulness – His unfailing grace.

Not an end but just a test of one’s heart – of one’s unwavering confidence that he is loved no matter what.

Even with the afflictions, continue to Live your life to the full.

Perplexed your heart may be, still, Laugh more often.

Amidst persecution know that you are not forsaken, so be loved and Love.

---

kitsokoy110811

a reflection on 2 Cor 4:6-10,16-18

fuskals.

I don't play basketball not because i don't like playing it but simply because i don't know how. I am afraid that people will just mock me and/or that I'll be laughed at. After all, i am a man with pride (lots of it actually hehe!).

But last night, i sensed it's one of those rare moments i know i shouldn't miss.. so with a bit persuasion (more like peer pressure), once more i said yes to craziness (click to read more).. 

I played, survived and enjoyed it.

Fear of ridicule: conquered!

Want to hear a good advice from me? Here: If you want to achieve something.. if you want to conquer your fears.. if you believe that you are destined for greatness.. don't just sit comfortably in your home thinking about it. Go out and get busy!

Live your life without fear,

Laugh and learn form your mistakes,

Love and be loved.
-kitsokoy100811

generosity. (3 pts a day)

1) Our God is capable of overwhelming generosity. His abundance cannot be undone.

2) Our God loves a cheerful giver. Don’t just give, share generously.

3) Our God provides. We need not fear being short. Trust.

In trying times (like delayed allowances haha!), may we learn to...
...LIVE our lives without fear knowing that we have a God who blesses over-abundantly,
...LAUGH more often and share happiness to those who also are in need and
...LOVE by giving cheerfully & generously. 

---

Kitsokoy100811

a reflection on 2Cor9:6-10

MAL household sa MALL

Tatlong bagay na narealize ko sa household.

1) What others do to us, defines them. How we respond, defines us. Rejections and/or how others deal with us should not affect us and our identity as YFCs, we should rather see that as an opportunity to show what Christians are truly made of. When we can’t feel God’s presence, when we find it difficult to find Him in the people around us, that simply means He is in us; giving us the opportunity to be Christ to others.

2) We are in a business of building relationships. We are a community not an organization. Recognized or not, it shouldn’t stop us from allowing others (our members and leaders) feel that they are loved. Nothing is more important. Nothing is more needed.

3) If we’ll just examine our lives, we’ll see how blessed we really are! Those blessings brought us to where we are right now and the same blessings should compel us to stand firm in our commitments. Even amidst trials and concerns, one should not stop loving/serving; one should not stop believing that he/she has a God who blesses over-abundantly. Nothing can stop a grateful heart.

Thank you for an inspiring and vibrant household, hope to see you next time... Until then, LIVE your life to the full, LAUGH more often and LOVE out-loud.

-kitsokoy150711

ikaw? sino naalala mo pag umuulan?

woke up this morning with this song in mind..

di ko naman alam kung saan nanggaling…

haha!

searched the whole youtube to find a decent video/mtv of it but can’t find any…

so here’s a copy of it and hope you’ll enjoy…

“Naalala kita pag umuulan, naalala kita pag giniginaw, naaalala kita pagkakain na, naalala kita ilang bukas pa ba bago tayo ay magkita, ako’y naiinip na bawat oras binibilang, sabik na masilayan ka”

ikaw? sino naalala mo pag umuulan? yikes! haha!

(click here to play sembreak by eheads)

***

SEMBREAK - Eheads

Dear kim kamustang bakasyon mo
Ako heto pa rin nababato
Bad trip talagan t’tong Meralco
Bakit brownout pa rin dito

Walang silbi sa bahay
Kundi bumabad sa telepono
O kaya’y kasama ang buong barkada
Nakatambay sa may kanto

Naalala kita pag umuulan SEMBREAK
Naalala kita pag giniginaw SEMBREAK
Naalala kita pagkakain na SEMBREAK
Naalala kita ilang bukas pa ba
Bago tayo ay magkita
Ako’y naiinip na bawat oras binibilang
Sabik na masilayan ka-ha-hah

Sira pa rin ang bisikleta
May gas wala namang kotse
Naghihintay ng ulan
Basketball sa banyo
Sana ay may pasok na para at least
Meron akong baon
Cutting classes dating raket
Rock and roll buong taon
Naalala kita pag umuulan SEMBREAK
Naalala kita pag giniginaw SEMBREAK
Naalala kita pagkakain na SEMBREAK
Naalala kita ilang bukas pa ba
Bago tayo ay magkita
Ako’y naiinip na bawat oras binibilang
Sabik na masilayan ka-ha-hah

Walang kayakap kundi gitara
Nangangati sa kaiisip sa’yo
Hanggang sa mabutas ‘tong maong ko
Tsaka bibili uli ng bago
Hanggang dito na lang ang liham ko
Salamat sa atensyon mo
Tsaka na lang pala yung utang ko
Pag nagkita na lang uli tayo oh wohh

Naalala kita pag umuulan SEMBREAK
Naalala kita pag giniginaw SEMBREAK
Naalala kita pagkakain na SEMBREAK
Naalala kita ilang bukas pa ba
Bago tayo ay magkita
Ako’y naiinip na bawat oras binibilang
Sabik na masilayan ka-ha-hah

Naalala kita SEMBREAK
Naalala kita SEMBREAK
Naalala kita SEMBREAK
Naalala kita SEMBREAK
Naalala kita SEMBREAK
Naalala kita SEMBREAK
Naalala kita SEMBREAK

faith, obedience and love. (3pts a day)

Jesus was separated from His mother because He needs to be in His father’s house. Jacob was separated from his mother because they deceived his father. They are two totally different people in two totally different circumstances. One was divine while the other was devious. One is holy while the other is a sinner. Totally opposite yet both were used to achieve God’s ultimate purpose and plan – a part of the mystery of God’s ways in salvation history.

3 lessons from their experiences: regardless of where you are right now, FAITH is the key to the Father, OBEDIENCE is the only way to go there and LOVE is the answer - His answer.

kitsokoy020711

a reflection on Gn27:1-29 / Lk2:41-51

reveal love (3pts a day)

1] Love as we share in it testifies to the nature of God and to His presence in our lives. One who loves shows that one is child of God and knows God, for His very being is love; one without love is without God. The revelation of the nature of God’s love is found in the free gifts of His son to us, so that we may share life with God and be delivered from our sins. The love that we have for each other must be of the same sort: Authentic, Merciful; this unique Christian love is our proof that we know and can “see” the invisible God. 1Jn4:7-12

2] For we are a people sacred to the Lord our God: He has chosen us from all nations to be a people of His own. It wasn’t because of our capacity, not because of the things we can do but simply because He loved us and because of His fidelity to love us even we are not capable of doing anything. The Lord our God is indeed, the faithful God who keeps His merciful covenant towards those who love Him and keep His commandments. Dt7:6-11

3] While the wise and the learned have rejected Jesus’ preaching and the significance of His mighty deeds, the child-like have accepted them. Acceptance depends upon the Father’s revelation, but it is granted to those who are open to receive it and refused to the arrogant. Mt11:25-30

ask. seek. knock. (3pts a day)

Ask. It will be given.
Seek. You will find.
Knock. The door will be opened.

No complications. No strict rules. It is that simple. Really.

Live simply, laugh more often, love out-loud.
kitsokoy210611
a reflection on Mt7:7-11

judge. (3pts a day)

When Christ said “stop judging, that you may not be judged”, it is not a prohibition against recognizing the faults of others, but against passing judgment in a spirit of arrogance, forgetful of one’s faults.

Funny how this affirms my blog about "loving correction" as opposed to "self-righteousness" , that caused me a lot of trouble. (haha!) But all is well now, and i honor the brother for that incident, i was humbled by it and somehow learned my lesson.

With that, [1] let us pray that He may grant us the grace to see the difference between loving and self-righteousness, [2] may we care enough to correct in the spirit of loving and [3] learn to accept that loving correction is but just a regular process to make our lives better.

Live, laugh and love.

kitsokoy200611

a reflection on Mt7:1-5

on boasting, weaknesses and provisions.

1] May we boast not on what we do for Christ but on what Christ does for us.

2] May our inadequacies, lapses and weaknesses give Jesus the opportunity to reveal Himself as the source of living water: God's grace.

3] May the worries show us the basic truth about ourselves, that we cannot survive it alone, that we are dependent on God's sufficient provisions.


kitsokoy180611
a reflection on 2Cor12:1-10, Mt6:24-34

yes or no. (3pts a day)

1) Isn't it a lie to say yes even if deep inside you, you know, you don't want to do it? Isn't it still a lie still to say no to the things you do want to do? Let your yes means yes and No means no.

2) What glory is there for one man to say yes even if he knows he can't do it right for some reasons? Yes is not a virtue and No is not a sin.


3) Isn't that oath taking presupposes a sinful weakness of human race namely, the tendency to lie? Jesus demands a truthfulness that makes oaths unnecessary.

 

kitsokoy150611

a reflection on Mt5:34-48

learn to count

Should God bless others more than us, who are we to intervene? If He’ll choose to be generous to others, who are we to ask why? “What concern is it of us?”-Jn21:22.

If fairness is what we want, I don’t think we will be where we are right now. Nothing is due to us and nothing will. God does not owe us anything. Yet still, He blessed, is blessing and will continue to bless us. You might find it difficult to see it at times but YES, you are blessed; we all are.

Here are 3 points that would help us feel blessed and be happy no matter what the state of circumstance we are in:

1] Know how to count. If we focus on what others are getting instead of what we have, we’ll end up pointlessly whining about everything. When in fact, if we’ll just examine our lives, we’ll see how blessed we really are! "I murmured that I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet." –persian proverb

2] Learn to enjoy simple things. The saying “the best things in life are for free” may sound cliché but it is true! Slow down and take some time to appreciate the small things around you. “It is not happiness that leads to gratitude; it is gratitude that leads to the sense of happiness.”

3] See trials as gifts. “Every blessing is a test and every trial is also a possible blessing”, it is just a matter of how you will take it. There is a gain in pain. If you want to know more check-out: "gain-in-pain"

It is funny to note how I ended up reading this FB application after writing this blog. 

Coincidence? Nah.

Let's take that as an affirmation to LIVE our lives counting blessings, to LAUGH more often enjoying simple things and to LOVE out loud.

kitsokoy110611

praise. obey. love. (3pts a day)

1] We should live our lives as an act of gratitude and our service as response to all the things God has done, is doing and will do. Giving thanks, blessing His name regardless of the situation, PRAISES should be innate to those who do God’s work.

2] You can’t really say that you are for God and that you love him if you won’t follow His will. Even if it’s difficult, even if it’s in places you do not want to go, even if it means your life. The very proof of your love for God is OBEDIENCE, nothing more, nothing less, nothing else.

3] Persecutions shouldn’t be viewed and perceived as obstacles in sharing God’s love, rather, it should push and compel us to. No other way can LOVE be magnified more, be so pure and in its highest state when it is given in difficult situations, to difficult people.

Live. Laugh. Love.
kitsokoy100611
a reflection on Acts 25:13-21, Ps 103:1-20, Jn 21:15-19

be accountable. be accounted for. (3pts a day)

[1] While it is hard to defend from the attacks of our enemies, it is always more difficult (and painful) to deal with the assault from within. Don't just be on your guard, allow others to guard you. Be accountable. Be accounted for. (Acts20:28-31)

[2] While it is important to work hard to supply our own needs, it is always as important to strive to provide the needs of others. Don't just earn a living, sweat more for those who can't. Learn to give so that others may simply live. (Acts20:32-34)

[3] While it is imperative for a man to be tough and firm, it is as vital to kneel down and pray. Bended knee isn't a sign of weakness but of one's maturity, mature enough to admit that he can't make it alone. Pray and let others pray for you. (Acts20:36-38)

Live. Laugh. Love.
kitsokoy080611
a reflection on Acts 20:28-38

grace unites (3pts a day)

1] Nothing really is ours. Nothing really is due to us. But we have been blessed so that all will know, it is only by God's grace we'll experience bliss. Only through Him, with Him, in Him.

2] Never hesitate to proclaim and share the whole will of God. Complete the task to testify good news of God's grace. Nothing is more important. Nothing is more needed.

3] If it is through unconditional love that all have been saved, we too should unite all things in Christ through God's grace.



Live. Laugh. Love.
kitsokoy070611
a reflection on
Jn 17:1-11
Acts 20:24,27
Ps 68:18

figure it out (3pts a day)

1] Even if you are abandoned, know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Never was and never will be. (Jn16:32)

2] Peace is not the absence of war, it is not a situation but a state of one's heart, it is BEING IN THE PRESENCE OF GOD. (Jn16:33)

3] Don't just believe because you do understand but believe even if you don't. Faith isn't about being certain of what God's plan is but TRUSTING THAT THERE IS A PLAN EVEN IF WE CAN'T SEEM TO FIGURE IT OUT. (Jn16:29)




Live. Laugh. Love.
kitsokoy060611
a reflection on Jn16:29-33

Love Will Do The Rest

Beginnings are never easy
So much is still unknown
So many desires seeking fulfillment
Collide with the patient trust that
Everything is as it should be
Love does not rush
No masterpiece ever does
You do not plant the seed of a rose in the morning
And ask it to blossom by the afternoon
Lust is the first one in
And the first one out
But love…
Love is cool, calm and collected
It plays tricks on you to keep you honest
Love is a patient comedian
Who helps you to get over the fearful ego
So you have the fearlessness to BE with yourself and another
I do not ask for easy beginnings
Because I know that the One meant for me will stick
With no effort on my behalf
There is no striving for love
There is no convincing love to stay
There is just you
Your fearlessness
And trust
Love will do the rest

thanks to mastin kipp

Loving vs being self-righteous.

somebody coined: 

didn't Jesus teach us love and Forgiveness... define being righteous? "if any among you have no sin, you can cast the first stone." - even a righteous person has no right to judge anyone. look at yourselves and your secrets 1st....

***
kitsokoy:

First, define love. A person who can’t define love surely can’t differentiate a "loving correction” from “being self-righteous”, surely he/she will not know when one ends and the other begins.

Secondly, note that we care to correct because we love. Now, a self-righteous person has no right to judge anyone, but they have the right to love, don't they?

It's pretty much like how my mom is to me.
My mom scolds me every time I'll do something stupid.

Does that mean she doesn't love me?

She corrects me even she has her own mistakes, does that make her self-righteous?

My mom has no right to reprimand me because she too is a sinner?

If our answer to these questions are no, then i guess we have more or less an idea of what "loving correction" is, as opposed to "being self-righteous".

Lastly, who is throwing stones to whom?
Nobody's judging anybody, correction is but just a regular and necessary process to make our lives better, nothing less, nothing else. Growing together in holiness by being accountable to each other is something we do in a "community", isn't it?

And by the way, throwing stones is so ancient, we don't do that anymore, only primitive people do that. We aren't one of them, are we?

***

May we Live humbly to accept corrections, Laugh from our stupidity while learning from it and Love unconditionally.

disappointed?

I saw it coming but somehow it caught me unprepared.

A simple yet meaningful sorry would suffice and will help all of us move on quickly, but they started by explaining why they did the things they knew they shouldn’t be doing. And that is just sad.

In times like these, the worst thing one person can do is reason out. Why? It is simply because reasoning negates and cancels the validity and sincerity of saying sorry. You are trying to make your listeners rationalize hence making them more logical than compassionate. And true enough, because I (along with two others) found flaws and loop holes in their stories, I wasn’t forgiving when they finally said sorry.

So even with the preparation and prayers, I still felt bad. I was dismayed by the conversation and that was one thing I wasn’t able to and can’t hide.

Just when you think you know people, they disappoint you in ways you never thought they could.

Am I Mad? Yes. Sad? Definitely.

But why?

Feeling what you feel is one thing, knowing why, is another. So I resolve to writing reasons why I should feel the way I feel. But all those reasoning lead me to the same question: Why?

Answer came in one night through a simple conversation with a friend. A realization that I found hard to admit, a reality I would rather just ignore.

The truth is: I can see myself in them. It’s like a mirror. I know the feeling but I also know where it is heading.  They are a painful reminder of the things I’ve done before, a picture of the past that I have been trying to correct. I am mad not just because of what they did but more so because of the fact that I wasn’t able to correct myself when I was in that same position.

While we are so fond of ourselves, we easily get offended with others. Let us be persuaded that nothing is due to us thus nothing will upset us. Let us often think of our own infirmities, and we shall become indulgent towards those of others.

Realizing that, I felt sorry for myself more than for them. I became more understanding. A change of heart if you may. A call to be more compassionate than to be right.

Of course, things will never be the same. Just like any wound, there will always be a scar. But if we’ll only use that scar to remind us of the lessons we’ve learned rather than the pain it caused, it will not just make things a lot easier, it's actually one step closer towards Christ, a better us.

I know time will come that all of us will get over this, friends reunited, relationships restored, but until then, may we learn to

Live our lives with compassion,

Laugh more often and

Love unconditionally.

i did not cook that pasta.

"sarap nung pasta no?"

"oo nga, tama lang ang anghang at ang sauce"

"pati yung menudo sarap din"

"sino nag luto nun?"

"si keith"

And suddenly the attention was on me. People started praising me for the great lunch. Some said they are proud of me and congratulated me for a job well done. Surprised and excited with the idea that i can cook, I immediately got bookings for their area shouts as the cook and kitchen steward. I was asked to cook for a birthday and was even asked to cater for a wedding. yes, the latter part is too much, i know, i just made that up. (haha!)

What was my reaction? How did i respond?

Honestly, I was tempted to take all the credit. My pride keeps on telling me to accept all the praises and soak my self to it. It feels good to know that me/my efforts are being recognized, it feels soo good that i wouldn't want them to stop. Applause is too loud and spotlight is too blinding that it covers the reality. 

The truth is... it wasn't me. After knowing that frying and preparing instant noodles isn't actually cooking, I have come to realize and accept the fact that I don't know how to cook. 

"singit lang ako". Nina knows what to do so she chopped the ingredients and somehow prepared everything so that it'll be easy for first timers like me to cook. Because Paskee has done it before, he showed me how to do it. step by step. line by line. He even tasted the food for me. Dessie's encouragement inspired me to do the impossible. Despite my inadequacies, her affirmations pushed me to do more.

You see, if it's not because of three people the sumptuous lunch wouldn't be possible. Plus they kind of reminded me about how the Father, Son and the Holy Spirit works (big grin smile).

Why am i doing this? For three simple reasons.

First. Sure it feels good to receive praises but if you know deep in side you that it wasn't actually you who did it, you will not be at peace with it. Never. You might fool people about it but you can never really fool yourself.  

Second. If people will praise us for the things we've done, even if let's say you are the prime mover, never fail to share it with the people that you work with. For you might be the tastiest and most important ingredient, you still are just an ingredient, nothing less, nothing more, nothing else.

Lastly, let us not forget to praise God and shift the focus on Him. As the moon only reflects the brightness of the sun, our lives, accomplishments and success should be a reflection and should be directed to the source of it all. 

It never was, never is and never will be about us. Let us stop acting like we are the good news, we are just mere messengers. The mailman doesn't get any applause when he delivers good news does he? (I actually don't know how this part is related to cooking but i know it makes sense right? haha!)  

As i write this, I am scheduled to cook adobo for area4 shout. But this time, I am with Gj who also has no idea how to prepare it. With no help, I know this is do or die. But regardless of what the outcome will be, I know I have Gj to blame (haha!). Nah, regardless of what the outcome will be, I know it's not just about me. It's not about me.

may we truly

LIVE our lives praising Him,

LAUGH our hearts out and

LOVE selflessly.