As I was about to write my reflection for today, when I overheard a roommate listening to Bo Sanchez. The topic somehow got me interested, so little bit later I found myself sitting right next to him watching the same TV program.
The topic was about health but what caught my attention was the study conducted in relation to it; how relationships affect one’s health. People who are distant to their parents are more likely to be sick when they get old. 53% chances if one is cold with their mothers, 82% with their fathers and a whopping 100% with both.
Then it hit me.
In a family where “I love you” is seldom said and being cuddly isn’t acceptable, I grew up to be a pretender, isolating my emotions. I’ve learned to hide my emotion, act as if I don’t care. There was a point in my life when I can’t remember the last time I hugged my parents, when I can’t even recall the moment I showed that I care.(Don’t get me wrong, I do love my parents and i believe they do love me too, the feeling might be unexpressed but it was mutual). The problem came in when I get to deal with other people; the simple case of parent-child issue has cascaded to me being misunderstood. Misconstrued not because they haven’t tried but I was giving them the wrong impression. I had hard time dealing with my parents more so with friends. Others gave some shot but eventually gave-up (some failed relationships, connections ended and friendships ruined). Why? Simply because I seriously didn’t (or perhaps still don’t) know how to care. Period.
In my years of full-time work, in YFC, in the community, I should say things are better now, way better than it was. But because it’s in my system, even if I have resolved to change for the good, I still unwarily seclude myself and what I truly feel. So I continue to struggle, I continue to decide to be better each day.
So as a reminder, here is a prescription on how to have that healthy life we all aimed for:
1. Open up – share, talk and be heard >> Talk to your parents, call them now! (just called my mom, thanks to Globe hehe!) also, SMS your household head (and/or a friend) and set that much needed one to ones. Lower your defenses, be vulnerable and express what you feel. You’re a human not a robot, for crying out loud!
2. Touch more – hug and be hugged >> Be a vessel of God’s embrace of security, assurance and comfort. If you’re not with your family, why don’t you start it now by giving that longed hug to that person just right next to you? Or if that is too much to ask, tapping on the back or giving a high five, is enough, just to feel you’re both alive and that you know how to appreciate, that you are capable of loving. (I’ll do it to the first person who will pass through that door right in front of me, quite challenging for me but yeah for the spirit of fun I might just do it haha!)
3. Do volunteer works – serve without pay >> Bring your family with you and go to ANCOP or GK site, or donate and help flood victims or simply buy some bread for those who have nothing to eat in the streets. The possibilities are endless, just create opportunities to not just help others but bond as a family in doing so. (can’t wait for my parents to be here in manila by December, I bought them ticket for their 28th year anniversary honeymoon hehe!)
4. Accept – decide to love >> Instead of being critical, learn to understand and appreciate. Give a thank you note, leave a voice message, send an SMS, give a gift or simply say “I love you” not just to those who are dear to you but to those who have hurt you, those you have difficulty dealing with. (will write to friends saying sorry after this… haha! napapasubo ako dito sa pinagsasabi ko.)
haha! I just spontaneously wrote a blog and wasted 10mins of your life...
What are you waiting for? Stop wasting your time, invest for a healthy life...
What are you waiting for? Stop wasting your time, invest for a healthy life...
Do yourself a favor, turn off your computer and LIVE your life to the full, LAUGH hard with your parents/family and LOVE out-loud!
Prayer:
Lord I thank you for my parents, I thank you for the love you have shown and allowed me to experience through them. May you bless me o God so that I'll be able to really show that I love them too. Also, grant me thy grace to express how much I value not just my parents but the people around me. Teach me to be more loving and how to show compassion. Amen.
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The story behind #lamentations
